Brian

jupiter29 @ 2007-06-13T10:23:00

2007-06-13T15:26:49Z

Meme taken from returnofpiper

Step 1. Put your playlist on random.
Step 2. Post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3. Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly.
NO GOOGLING.

~~1. Listen, boy, don't want to see you let a good thing slip away.~~ - evelynne
~~2. Say your prayers, little one.~~ - laurelian
3. And I wonder, day to day, I don't like you, anyway.
4. I guess that it was bound to happen, was just a matter of time.
5. You and me we were the pretenders.
~~6. Well, I've got a candle and I've got a spoon.~~ - curlicue
7. Days undercover, all out of sync.
8. You just made your plane, you sit down puffing in a sweat.
9. When I came by your house the other day, your mother said you went away.
~~10. Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time.~~ - curlicue
~~11. Ain't found a way to kill me yet.~~ - laurelian
~~12. We've had some fun and yes we've had our ups and downs.~~ - shawna_sue
13. On a cobweb afternoon in a room full of emptiness.
14. He walks over to the window and without a hesitation he goes out.
15. You said it couldn't be done, told me that it's the kind of battle that just couldn't be won.
~~16. Johnny take a walk with your sister the moon.~~ - laurelian
17. Rage in the cage and piss upon the stage.
~~18. Like the pine trees lining the winding road.~~ - curlicue
19. It crawls down deep inside without a pulse or will to die.
20. And the man is always smiling as he leans against his Cadillac.
~~21. What happened here as the New York sunset disappeared.~~ - canuckgirl
22. When our country was a baby and the redcoats had their way.
23. When this began I had nothing to say.
~~24. Hey where did we go the days when the rains came?~~ - shawna_sue
~~25. I like your pants around your feet.~~ - curlicue/laurelian

jupiter29 @ 2007-04-30T12:00:00

2007-04-30T17:03:01Z

I saw this somewhere on my friends list last week (but can't remember where), so I took it to kill some time. I thought the questions were silly enough that the result would be pretty much useless, but that shows how much I know. They nailed it. I must admit I am impressed.

What American accent do you have?
Created by Xavier on Memegen.net

Mid-Atlantic. This is what everyone calls a Philadelphia accent although it's also the accent of south Jersey, Baltimore, and Wilmington. Well, everyone that lives near there, that is. Outsiders can tell you talk differently from them even though they can't tell what your accent is.

Take this quiz now - it's easy!

Stolen from returnofpiper, among others

2007-04-19T18:12:21Z

I haven't posted one of these in awhile, but I offer it in case you really wanted to say something in my journal, but didn't feel like reading that novel I posted yesterday.

Comment and I shall....

1 - Tell you why I friended you (if I can remember or I just make something up...)
2 - Associate you with something. A fandom, a song, a rock, a color, a piece of fruit. SOMETHING.
3 - Tell you something I like about you because you guys ROCK!
4 - Tell you a memory I have of you.
5 - Associate you with a character/pairing.
6 - Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
7 - Tell you my favorite user pic(s) of yours.
8 - Tell you that you must spread this disease in your LJ. (Or not. I probably won't.)

jupiter29 @ 2006-09-28T11:41:00

2006-09-28T16:41:01Z

As I mentioned in a previous post, I went to see Godsmack last Tuesday. I didn't mention in the post, but may have in a comment, that on Thursday morning Ticketmaster sent me an email that said "Don't miss Godsmack!" because tickets were about to go on sale for in concert in Lincoln, Nebraska. I remember thinking this was an odd coincidence and it couldn't have been aimed at me specifically. Because I didn't buy the Godsmack tickets for last week. In fact, they weren't bought through Ticketmaster at all, but through a ticket broker (and, let me tell you, ouch!). So I just shrugged it off as odd because I get emails from Ticketmaster once a week or so, but I'd never noticed the 'Don't miss _____!" part. Plus, Lincoln Nebraska?? What the heck kind of random email generation would target that?

This morning I got an email from them saying "Don't miss Bob Newhart!" Here's the thing. I've been to see Bob Newhart. I went last September, but the tickets were given to me as a birthday gift. They weren't in my name or purchased with my credit card or using this email address. So how the heck does Ticketmaster know I went?

Presumably they can't be sending these same emails to everybody. Other than me, what group of people like both Bob Newhart and Godsmack? How big can that group be?? Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm sure people like both. But how many people would buy tickets to both? I remember that Bob Newhart concert. It was at a local casino and I was the youngest person in attendance by about 30 years. I am willing to bet serious money that not one person in that group other than me was screaming "I... Stand Alone!" last Tuesday night. ~~(Maybe "I've fallen and I can't get up!" but that's a cheap shot and I won't go there.)~~ But not only did I go to both, but they represent two of the last three things I've bought tickets for (I went to see Richard Jeni last fall as well, but he's not coming anywhere near Kansas City this year, to my knowledge). Except that I didn't buy them.

So I can only come to one conclusion. Ticketmaster is spying on me.

Well, that and I'm a huge freeloader. But that's more of a revelation than a conclusion.

Still, keep it in mind if you ever invite me anywhere. :)

jupiter29 @ 2006-07-26T15:15:00

2006-07-26T20:15:17Z

No doubt affected by the fact that I spent last week simultaneously (well, perhaps alternately would be a better word) reading Cell by Stephen King and Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz, I had a dream last night in which I was being chased by clown zombies. This is rather weird, actually, because... well, okay, no qualification needed. It's just rather weird. But it's even weirder because unlike quite a few of my friends, I am not particularly afraid of clowns. So to me clown zombies were really just zombies with big shoes. And that doesn't make them all that much scarier. Unless they came up in a little zombie clown car, in which case I might run out of ammo.[1]

Anyway, lack of clown phobia notwithstanding, it was not a particularly fun dream. It was, needless to say, memorable. And I have to admit that in my dream, clown zombies were killed in the more or less normal zombie way, by shooting them in the head.

But once I woke up, I couldn't help but think that if there were such a thing as clown zombies, it would be much funnier if they could only be killed by squirting them in the mouth with a garden house while their bow tie rotated around and their hat inflated until it burst. Less effective, sure, but much funnier.

[1] Complete aside (unless it stuck in my brain more firmly than I was aware, and influenced the dream): Last week I was heading out to lunch with a gang from the office and a SUV came flying up in the lane beside me doing about 30 mph over the speed limit, and then immediately merged in front of us with about 4 feet to spare. As the car went by, we were all rather surprised to see that the passenger seat held a clown. Without thinking, I said "Man, it's a good thing my boss was with me, otherwise I would have just flipped off a clown!" And Kevin (my boss) warned that I should never, ever flip off a clown on the highway. After I suggested that there were three of us and we could probably take him, he said "Well, yeah, we could take him. But what about the 8 guys that jump out of the trunk?"

jupiter29 @ 2006-06-23T08:02:00

2006-06-23T13:03:28Z

As I was driving to work today, I saw a pickup truck pulling a small trailer. On the trailer was a barbecue grill. It was kind of cool, actually. It looked like it was built out of an old propane tank or something, painted pink and made to look like a giant pig. It even had a little curly tail stuck on the end. When I finally got to my exit, I was able to get far enough off to the side to see the head as well.

But for 90% of my commute today, I could only see the tail since the truck was directly in front of me. So, just in case I wasn't already feeling unhappy enough about getting out of bed and driving to another day of work, I spent my entire trip staring up a pig's ass.

Thanks, God. Love you too.

Checking and travel plans

2006-05-05T17:36:21Z

Sorry for the quick post, I am on dial up and there is only so much I can take. :) If I dropped out of sight this week (and I did, so more to the point if anybody noticed I dropped out of sight this week...) it's because I was trying to wrap up two projects before heading off to meet with clients in New Jersey. It was kind of a last minute, whirlwind trip. I worked all weekend and Monday and Tuesday, worked half of Wednesday, flew to Philadelphia with Scott and Kevin, drove to Trenton and slept, then had a meeting until 2 yesterday, drove back to the airport and they got on the plane back.

Normally I would have gone with them and then been back at work today. I know they are, from the number of times my cell phone has rung. :) But since I was right here in Philadelphia, my mom would have hunted me down and hurt me if I hadn't visited. ;) So I took the day off and spent last night and this morning with my family and then I fly back to Kansas City in the morning.

All in all, it's been a very good trip. I wish I had more time here to just relax, but at least I get a day off and chance to see my family. And then when I get back, I'll have the weekend to decompress a little before I get back to work and the Iowa project picks up again. And, like I said, all in all a good trip. I'm sure I'll post more details next week, but... seriously, dial up is driving me crazy. :)

But I can't help but share one story. I was flying in to my lay over in Detroit on Wednesday and I'd actually fallen asleep. I never sleep on planes, because I can't even really fall asleep sitting up in my own house, but I was so exhausted I kept drifting in and out. So I finally woke up just as we were starting to descend, and my mind was still a little foggy, but I heard the co-pilot welcome us to Detroit on behalf of our captain, Ted Striker. And my brain wasn't quite clear enough to concentrate on two things at once, so I have no idea what he said after that. Stuff about weather, I'm sure. Personally, I just sat there thinking to myself...

Ted Striker???

Who is that? I definitely know a guy named Ted Striker...

It was in a movie, I think, and it definitely had something to do with being a pilot...

Ted Striker... Captain Ted Striker...

Oh yeah!

Jeez, what a horrible name for a pilot to have!!

Surely he can't be serious!

And then I just started laughing out loud and people looked at me really funny. But that's not unusual. :)

jupiter29 @ 2006-04-12T14:20:00

2006-04-12T19:21:25Z

Apparently, there was a baby shower in my office today. Well, I shouldn't say "apparently." I knew it was happening and all. I was even given an invitation. But I sort of thought they were kidding. As it turns out, we were all actually expected to go. So I did, because my boss told me too. Granted, he told me before leaving for the airport to go to New Mexico, so I think I was somewhat set up. :) But I went, anyway, if only for a little while.

I'm still not sure I really get the whole baby shower experience. It seemed pretty quiet and silly and mostly involved eating food. Don't get me wrong, I like food. But I guess I always thought there must be more to it. I admit it, I like to think that all get-together's that involve only women descend into pajama-clad pillow fights within about an hour. Really, it's just more fun to think of it that way.

And in fairness, the three of us guys who attended made ourselves scarce pretty quickly after the food part ended and the game/gift part began. So maybe it got all naughty after I left. Perhaps not, since it was in a large conference room with glass walls, but I still choose to believe it did.

The part I was there for was kind of boring, though. We all guessed how many M&Ms were in the baby bottle. I guessed 272 and the answer was 260. I got cheated out of my M&Ms, though, because Bob guessed 250. Drat! But probably just as well. I'm fat enough without carrying around the mental image of candy coming out of a nipple. And I will simply point out in passing that of the 20 people there, two of the three guys present got first and second in that little game. Apparently, it's only length men can't estimate.

Other than that, I just sat there and made dumb jokes to cover my nervousness about how many times I was hearing my coworkers say "nipple." Not even the jokes were all that funny. Well, one. When Tammy said "I got the cake at Costco" and the mother to be said "I love Costco, you can get anything at Costco!", I announced "You can get the actual baby there, too, but you have to get triplets." I cracked myself up with that one. But then they started opening gifts and it was time to leave. The first package were some baby clothes. They were nice enough, I guess, although I don't get the baby clothes thing. I almost said "Ohmigod, look at the little shoooooeeeees!" but I decided not to because a) there weren't actually any little shoes, and b) I don't like to actively make fun of any group of people that has me out-numbered 17 to 1. Especially since I was pretty sure there were pillows hidden somewhere in the room.

But between my behavior treading dangerously close to the line where I was going to get beat up and the fact that I was pretty sure there was something somewhere in that pile of gifts that I would prefer not to ever have the mental image of in my head when Kathy says good morning to me, it was time to get the heck out of there.

jupiter29 @ 2006-04-06T15:07:00

2006-04-06T20:08:17Z

According to an email I just received, there is a possibility of bad weather this afternoon. This scares me. Not because weather scares me, but because Kansas City weather people scare me. But I won't write about that, because if I ranted in my journal every time a member of the KC media annoyed me, you'd all delete me in about four hours.[1]

But to make things worse, Time Warner has recently made some changes to their cable system that freak me out. Somehow, they have found a way to patch emergency signals directly through to the DVR no matter what I am watching. So even if I'm watching something I recorded weeks ago, I will still get the little "This is a test" message scrolling at the bottom, and the audio signal pops in to tell me whatever they want to tell me. I don't really have a problem with that, it's actually kind of cool. Now. After the third time I see it, it will likely annoy me. But for now, it just seems cool.

The only problem is, they still haven't worked out all the kinks. The only time I've heard it, the audio track they used came through all slowed down. When you slow down a man's voice like that, it gets pretty weird. I wish I'd been able to record it and post it. But suffice it to say, it's a good thing he started with "This is a test of the emergency broadcast system". Because if he'd said there was a tornado coming, I'd probably still be cowering in the basement. In fact, his voice would not have sounded the least bit out of place if he'd started with "I am the Angel of Death. You have been judged unworthy. Prepare your soul."

Which, don't get me wrong, he didn't. I'm just saying, scary voice to have popping up on your TV, especially when you're watching something you know you recorded a week ago. :)

[1] Okay, I can't help it. The latest KC contribution to news reporting is the use of visual aids. Over the weekend, they had a story about some guys who broke into an auto parts place and beat an employee with an ax until he told them where the money was, stole a few thousands dollars in cash and then stole a truck and drove away in it. The truck even had an ID number that police could use to identify it. I can think of a couple of items in interest in this story. The fact that a guy got beat with an ax is kind of interesting. Stealing thousands of dollars is pretty good. Stealing a truck is good. The possibility of viewers being able to identify the truck is good. Heck, I even long for the good old days (which I hated at the time) where the reporter insists on standing in front of a closed auto parts story while he reports it.

But that's not how the story was reported this time. It started with "This is a set of keys." Because in the KC version, the thieves didn't steal a truck, they stole a set of keys and "used them to drive away in a truck." This allowed the reporter to read the story while jingling a set of keys in front of the camera. And to think I used to be exaggerating when I said the KC media treated us all like 4 month olds.

jupiter29 @ 2006-03-20T15:37:00

2006-03-20T21:37:50Z

I just checked Yahoo to see if I could get a weather forecast for this storm that is supposed to arrive tonight. According to the report, there should only be total accumulation in my area of 2-4 inches. Just after I breathed a sigh of relief, I noticed that the same report said it was currently 39 degrees with a high for the day of 38. I'm not sure I can trust a report with those kinds of mathematical skills. :)

With my luck, they probably think 2-4 is bigger than 10-12. :(

jupiter29 @ 2006-03-03T08:13:00

2006-03-03T14:17:19Z

The other night I saw a report on the news that... well, in my own defense, let me stop here. I don't actually watch TV news. But it was on while I was running around getting ready to go to bed. I swear. So as I've been walking back and forth, they've done this whole feature story on people that have gotten sick and ended up losing their homes. Mostly they were interviewing people like this woman that had cancer and she couldn't make the mortgage payments on her home and so the bank foreclosed. Now I have to admit I don't really consider this news, I suspect it was something they did as some sort of human interest story. And if you want my cynical guess, I'd imagine that the way they advertised it all night long was probably less than tasteful or responsible. But I didn't watch the story so I shouldn't take shots at it. Maybe they actually had something interesting to say.

What I do know is that the 45 second conclusion to the story included a reporter standing there recapping the entire story while standing in front of an originally designed graphic with a house and a big foreclosed sign across it and probably something that denoted medicine in some way. And across the bottom of this picture was the title of the story: "Loose Your Health, Loose Your Home".

Now, seriously, I don't expect much from TV news these days. But if you're going to devote 1/6 of your total program to a particular story, could you at least have someone sign off on the graphic first? I mean, at least pretend to be a news program. Is that so hard?

And the truly scary part is that wasn't even the stupidest thing to appear on a Kansas City news program this week. By far. That was just a mistake. On Tuesday night, I must have seen 5 ads for the feature story on the 10 o'clock news, which was... I kid you not... "Crazy X-rays". It was an entire story devoted to showing x-rays of people that had weird stuff stuck in their bodies. Seriously.

jupiter29 @ 2006-02-24T10:13:00

2006-02-24T16:13:43Z

~~Stolen from~~ ~~Borrowed from~~ Inspired by ladymeg1:

According to this site, the #1 song on the day I was born was "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" by The Bee Gees. The is particularly ironic because the Bee Gees scare me. Truly. That one guy's voice just sort of makes my head hurt. I can't hear that high. I try to listen to a song (okay, I don't, but it's the freakin' Bee Gees so how can I avoid it?) and I hear:

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a *mumble mumble* *screech screech*
... time to talk...
*one long continuous screech*
*actual physical pain begins*
*at this point I black out, and then finally come to and hear*
Stayin' alive, stayin' alive!

But, anyway, that probably has nothing to do with them being on the radio the day I was born. I just thought it was funny. :)

Johari

2006-02-13T20:18:41Z

Oh, what the heck. I've already posted original content once today. Based on my recent posting history, that frees me up for the month. :) So if, in the meantime, you would like to come up with a few words to describe me, feel free.

I also understand that there is more negative version of the meme, but what the heck? So far, most of you don't seem to be holding back the things you don't like about me. ;)

jupiter29 @ 2005-12-15T12:47:00

2005-12-15T18:50:12Z

Awhile back, cubicalgirl tagged me to do a meme about weird habits. I haven't done it yet, largely because I already did this post back when it wasn't a meme and I (obviously) liked to hear myself talk. And since I don't think it's time to start subjecting you fine folks to reruns, I'm afraid I have to refuse.

But this will make cubicalgirl mad and she may stop posting lovely little comments in my journal, most of which include a picture of her butt. So we can't have that! So here, as a small peace offering, is one extra bit of weird information about me, adapted from a comment I made elsewhere:

I consider myself a reasonably smart person in most areas, but my brain is completely incapable of remembering what channel television programs are on. I'd like to blame this on the pure stubbornness of cable providers that causes them to put "Fox4" on channel 6, but it's not all their fault. Even when I was watching broadcast TV, I couldn't remember where the networks were.

I can remember where they used to be when I was a kid in Philadelphia. NBC was on 3, ABC was on 6, and CBS was on 10. No problem.

But then somewhere along the line, just to make my life more difficult, NBC and CBS switched channels in Philadelphia and my brain never recovered. For the rest of my time living there, if I wanted to watch, for example, Cheers my brain would say "Okay, that's on NBC so it's on 3 except now it's on 10" and I'd turn to channel 10.

And then I moved to Connecticut and I would have loved to have just cleared out that portion of my brain and started over, but I couldn't. So then if I wanted to watch something on NBC, my brain would say "Okay, NBC is on 3 but now it's on 10, except now I live in Connecticut so now it's on 4." And I'd switch to channel 4.

And then I moved to Kansas City and now if I want to watch something on NBC, my brain says "Okay, NBC used to be on 3 and then it was on 10 and then it was 4 and now it's on... um, crap!" And then I usually flip through the channels until I either find it or I give up. Or if I want to watch something on CBS, I think "Okay, that should be on 10 except it moved to 3 and then it was 5 and now it's... oh, dammit, screw the show. I'm going to go read livejournal."

And it occurs to me now that I think about it that the only two current network shows I watch are House and Lost, neither of which is on NBC or CBS. I'm honestly not sure if that's a coincidence. :)

jupiter29 @ 2005-12-06T13:14:00

2005-12-06T19:14:03Z

Being a sports-deprived ex-Philadelphian, I can't help but be excited whenever one of my teams gets televised nationally. So needless to say, last night I happily settled in front of the TV with some snacks and a desire to stay up until the early morning watching my beloved but beleaguered Eagles play their hearts out for one last gasp at a successful season.

I won't recap the heartache of the evening, except to brag for a moment and point out that I did not, in fact, yell loudly enough to wake neighbors. A moral victory, some would say. I did, however, give up and go to bed well before halftime. :(

So as I stood there by the bed I couldn't help but reflect on the season and the team as I got undressed and perhaps just a little too violently threw my clothes into the hamper from across the room. My socks... two points (er, sorry, wrong sport). My sweatpants... split the uprights. My officially licensed Philadelphia Eagles souvenir t-shirt... sailed high and wide enough to knock bottles off the top of a five foot dresser. Probably should have seen that coming.

On a happier note, I was able to tackle the dresser before it scored. This makes me the most successful Eagles quarterback in weeks.

jupiter29 @ 2005-11-08T10:34:00

2005-11-08T16:34:20Z

You probably already know my philosophy when it comes to LJ... if you haven't posted in a month, there's no better way to break the ice than to ask for stuff. :)

Seriously, things are going well and life is progressing just fine, with the exception of work kicking my butt. I spent most of last week commuting back and forth to Topeka working on a project only to find out suddenly I had to present it to the big bosses here and from the Des Moines office first thing Friday morning. So we walked into the presentation with literally nobody having seen it except me and the programmer. I think Scott was getting pretty paranoid about how things were going to go. :) But the presentation went well and he even gave me the afternoon off. Sweet.

Aside from that, life is good. I still have to make an update about the trip, but who knows when I'll have time for that. Probably somewhere in 2006, about when I remember to get the pictures developed. ;)

So here comes the part where I start asking for stuff. ;) To spare you most of a long story, Scott has been pressing people for a while now to try a vegetarian Indian place he discovered, but none of the big bosses are willing to eat there. So with them all out of town, today is the day. It should be fun and I've never had Indian food, but there is supposedly a buffet so I will probably get a little of this and a little of that. So does anybody have any recommendations, just to make sure I get the full experience? Obviously, I'm not asking you to pick something I will enjoy, because that would be horribly unfair. :) But if you know of something I would do myself a disservice by not trying, please jump in and say so.

jupiter29 @ 2005-10-27T10:40:00

2005-10-27T15:40:24Z

Just wanted to make a quick announcement to let everyone know that I am back from vacation and back at work as of this morning. I have many nice comments to respond to, so I will try to get to that as soon as possible. But in the meantime, everyone might as well know I am alive and well. :)

I hope everyone had a lovely week!

jupiter29 @ 2005-10-21T06:42:00

2005-10-21T11:44:33Z

I realize that you might not even notice considering how rarely I post, but I'm heading out of town this morning to go to Virginia/North Carolina. I'm even going to see my first Nascar race this weekend. I think that pretty much officially makes me a midwesterner. :) Hopefully they'll still let me back into Philadelphia now and then. ;)

Aside from that, the last week has largely sucked. Nothing real bad, so I shouldn't complain, but it seems like I've been working 12 hours a day while I try to finish up projects. So I'm very glad to get away. Unfortunately, I owe a few of you out there emails or comments, and I've just never gotten to the computer this week. I apologize for that, and I don't think much of my level of friendship these past 10 days. Work is what it is, I suppose, but I've intended to get online and answer a few emails or say hello each of the past three nights, and I just come home and collapse. :( Hopefully, I'll do a better job of being myself when I get back from vacation and you'll give me another chance. You know how much I care about you guys. :)

I'll be back next Wednesday. In the meantime, I hope everyone has a great week.

P.S. Miranda, I'm glad to see you back. I didn't have an email address for you, so I just crossed my fingers and hoped everything would be okay. I'm glad it was.

jupiter29 @ 2005-10-03T10:20:00

2005-10-03T15:20:41Z

I just got back from running out to the post office. I unlocked my car, got in, started the engine, even moved my MP3 player off the passenger seat to make room for the mail. And then as I was backing out of my parking spot, I happened to notice that the car next to me was also a green Stratus, just like mine. So I think it would have been fairly normal for me to think something along the lines of "Hey, another green Stratus... how odd?!"

That would have been normal.

But what I actually thought was "Oh crap, I got in the wrong car!" And I even hit the brakes, in full anticipation of jumping out of the "wrong" car and into mine.

I think I might need some more sleep. :)

jupiter29 @ 2005-09-01T13:21:00

2005-09-01T18:23:21Z

Did you ever have one of those days when even the little things don't go right? I left for lunch with today with three errands to run. Nothing really complicated. I had to go to a drug stop, stop at the library, and swing by the post office. And then get lunch. That can't possibly get messed up, right?

Except that when I'm half a block from the drug store, it starts to rain. It's just drizzling, but I'm dressed semi-nicely and I don't particularly want to get wet over and over again. So I mentally cross the drug store off the list. That birthday card is already late, so how much more trouble can I get into?? In fact, I decide I won't even go in to the library, I'll just drop the books in the box. Then I can be completely lazy. :) So I keep driving to the library and pull in, and as I'm gathering up the books and making sure I haven't left papers in them (I had), a car pulls in next to me and a young woman hops out. And somehow I end up looking out the window of my car as she's looking in and we sort of make eye contact and she smiles. I don't know why. Maybe she thought she knew me. Maybe I'm just that freakishly cute. :)

So I get out of the car and I head up to the box, only to see that this nice young lady is standing there holding the door for me. I really didn't have the heart to tell her I didn't want to go inside. :( So now I'm going inside apparently. So I get the door and thank her and we go inside, and she then she wanders off. Apparently it was more a matter of her being nice than of me being freakishly cute, which is probably just as well. But now I'm inside, so I take my books up to the counter and she scans them in and informs me that I have a $.70 fine. I knew that. That's kind of why I was hoping to just drop them in the box, because I don't have any change with me. Sure enough, the smallest thing I have in my wallet is a twenty. But I've come all the way inside, after all, and the library lady has informed me I owe a fine, so I guess I had better pay. She looks kind of put off when I hand her the bill and I even offer to pay next time, but she's stuck in stupid-f**king-customer-is-always-right-land by now, so she counts out the change while giving me the evil eye, and I stick it back in my wallet and turn to leave. Elapsed time inside the library, 47 seconds.

And it's pouring.

Yeah, I know, there's probably some sort of waiting period before I get to complain about being rained on. Fair enough. It's not as if I don't already know I'm going to hell. I've received similar advice from no shortage of the women in my life.

So I kill a few minutes looking at new releases hoping the rain will slow down, but it just keeps getting harder. Finally, I grab a couple of books and check out (library lady no happier to see my now, by the way. I swear to god she huffed when she told me the due date.) and make a run for the car. Well, heck, it's all uphill from here, I figure.

Until I get the post office and find an almost entirely empty parking lot. There is, in fact, only one vehicle in it. A postal truck. And he is parked directly in front of the drive-up boxes. So in order to mail my bills, I have to park and run inside. In fairness, that only took about ten seconds. But by now I'm drenched.

But I can go back to work, as soon as I get lunch. So I go to Sonic, only to find all the spots are taken unless I want to make the carhop run through the rain, and I would feel horrible about that. So I pull back out and realize the only place left I can get anything that passes for lunch nearby is QuikTrip. So I park and run in and out of there.

And then I came back to work. And here I sit, dripping wet in my office. And all because I didn't just wave to the woman and say "No thanks!" I'm sure there's a lesson to be learned here. Unfortunately, unless that lesson is "complain a lot," I seem to have missed it. :) So please excuse me while take my shirt off and wring it out.

And no peeking.

Unless you smile at me. Then I'll apparently follow you anywhere.

jupiter29 @ 2005-08-23T12:36:00

2005-08-23T17:38:10Z

Meme stolen from annarama, because it is kind of cool:

Go to the Music Outfitters site and enter your birth year into the "search" box at the top of the page. On the results page, click on the "top 100 hits of..." link and copy and paste into your journal. Put the songs you like in boldface.

1. Joy To The World, Three Dog Night
2. Maggie May / (Find A) Reason To Believe, Rod Stewart
3. It's Too Late / I Feel The Earth Move, Carole King
4. One Bad Apple, Osmonds
5. How Can You Mend A Broken Heart, Bee Gees
6. Indian Reservation, Raiders
7. Go Away Little Girl, Donny Osmond
8. Take Me Home, Country Roads, John Denver
9. Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me), Temptations
10. Knock Three Times, Pawn
11. Me And Bobby Mcgee, Janis Joplin
12. Tired Of Being Alone, Al Green
13. Want Ads, Honey Cone
14. Smiling Faces Sometimes, Undisputed Truth
15. Treat Her Like A Lady, Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rose
16. You've Got A Friend, James Taylor
17. Mr. Big Stuff, Jean Knight
18. Brown Sugar, Rolling Stones
19. Do You Know What I Mean, Lee Michaels
20. The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down, Joan Baez
21. What's Going On, Marvin Gaye
22. Uncle Albert-Admiral Halsey, Paul McCartney
23. Aint No Sunshine, Bill Withers
24. Signs, Five Man Electrical Band
25. She's A Lady, Tom Jones
26. Superstar, Murray Head and The Trinidad Singers
27. I Found Someone Of My Own, Free Movement
28. Amos Moses, Jerry Reed
29. Temptation Eyes, The Grass Roots
30. Superstar, Carpenters
31. My Sweet Lord / Isn't It A Pity, George Harrison
32. Sweet And Innocent, Donny Osmond
33. Put Your Hand In The Hand, Ocean
34. Chick-a-boom, Daddy Dewdrop
35. For All We Know, Carpenters
36. Help Me Make It Through The Night, Sammi Smith
37. Rainy Days And Mondays, Carpenters
38. If You Could Read My Mind, Gordon Lightfoot
39. Gypsy, Tramps And Thieves, Cher
40. Never Can Say Goodbye, Jackson 5
41. Rose Garden, Lynn Anderson
42. Don't Pull Your Love, Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynolds
43. It Don't Come Easy, Ringo Starr
44. Mr. Bojangles, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
45. I Love You For All Seasons, Fuzz
46. Whatcha See Is Whatcha Get, Dramatics
47. That's The Way I've Always Heard It Should Be, Carly Simon
48. If You Really Love Me, Stevie Wonder
49. Spanish Harlem, Aretha Franklin
50. I Don't Know How To Love Him, Helen Reddy
51. Yo-yo, Osmonds
52. Bridge Over Troubled Water, Aretha Franklin
53. Doesn't Somebody Want To Be Wanted, Partridge Family
54. Draggin' The Line, Tommy James
55. Proud Mary, Ike and Tina Turner
56. Beginnings / Color My World, Chicago
57. Stay Awhile, Bells
58. Sweet City Woman, Stampeders
59. Me And You And A Dog Named Boo, Lobo
60. Another Day / Oh Woman, Oh Why, Paul McCartney
61. If, Bread
62. Mercy Mercy Me (The Ecology), Marvin Gaye
63. One Toke Over The Line, Brewer and Shipley
64. She's Not Just Another Woman, 8th Day
65. Bring The Boys Home, Freda Payne
66. I Just Want To Celebrate, Rare Earth
67. Never Ending Song Of Love, Delaney and Bonnie and Friends
68. Easy Loving, Freddy Hart
69. Liar, Three Dog Night
70. Stick-up, Honey Cone
71. Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep, Mac and Katie Kissoon
72. Love Story (Where Do I Begin), Andy Williams
73. Wild World, Cat Stevens
74. When You're Hot, You're Hot, Jerry Reed
75. Funky Nassau, Beginning Of The End
76. If Not For You, Olivia Newton-John
77. Groove Me, King Floyd
78. Watcmng Scoity Grow, Bobby Goldsboro
79. Woodstock, Matthews' Southern Comfort
80. Amazing Grace, Judy Collins
81. I Hear You Knocking, Dave Edmunds
82. Lonely Days, Bee Gees
83. Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again, Fortunes
84. Won't Get Fooled Again, Who
85. Trapped By A Thing Called Love, Denise Lasalle
86. Mama's Pearl, Jackson 5
87. Timothy, Buoys
88. I Woke Up In Love This Morning, Partridge Family
89. Theme From "Shaft", Isaac Hayes
90. If I Were Your Woman, Gladys Knight and The Pips
91. I Am...I Said, Neil Diamond
92. Wedding Song (There Is Love), Paul Stookey
93. Don't Knock My Love, Pt. 1, Wilson Pickett
94. Love Her Madly, The Doors
95. Here Comes The Sun, Richie Havens
96. Sweet Mary, Wadsworth Mansion
97. Right On The Tip Of My Tongue, Brenda and The Tabulations
98. One Less Bell To Answer, Fifth Dimension
99. Riders On The Storm, The Doors
100. It's Impossible, Perry Como

Wow, it's amazing how many of these songs I've never even heard of. But there are a couple that I may have to look up. #71 is my personal favorite, I believe.

jupiter29 @ 2005-08-22T09:06:00

2005-08-22T14:07:38Z

Before I forget (and you know I will), I wanted to take this opportunity to wish a very happy birthday to kitskye72 and crazylacey, who are two of the finest people on LJ.

Lacey... although we don't talk as much as we used to, I always love the hope and joy with which you face life, and I look forward to following the wonderful moments that are ahead of you. For the moment, though, I want you to know you are in my thoughts and I hope you are recovering well.

Stacey... I don't think a week had gone by that your journal has not made my day happier at least once. The humor and happiness through which you see your life is an inspiration to me, and I am very happy to know you. You are also an exceptional football handicapper, and I plan to just turn in your picks this year in my office pool, and then give you a cut of the winnings. ;)

For both of you... thank you for making my journal (and my life) a friendlier, funnier, and more joyous place. You're both good people and I'm glad to know you.

jupiter29 @ 2005-08-19T11:10:00

2005-08-19T16:11:44Z

The other day I mentioned going to Fantastic Caverns over the weekend, but I realized later I forgot to include one part of the story. It probably won't be quite as funny to those of you that weren't there, but I will do my best to explain it.

The cavern is toured on a jeep that's pulling a large tram with 20-25 people on it, so it's sort of like being on a hayride, except that there's no hay and you bump your head a lot if you're not careful. It's pretty cool, really. And it's still an active cave with water draining through it, so occasionally you get dripped upon. We were told (and this may just be BS that they tell the visitors, but what do I care?) that these are called "cave kisses" and are supposed to be good luck. I was apparently VERY lucky on Saturday. :)

About 45 minutes into the tour, we were sitting in a large cavern that they used to hold concerts in. There was even a stage carved out of the rock where the bands performed and a large area where people danced or sat and watched. And as we listed to the guide tell us about that particular part of the cave, I felt something large land on my left shoulder. I must have jumped, because the woman sitting across from me said "Wow, that's a big one." So I looked down and on the front of my left shoulder was a large wet spot, about the size of a slightly elongated half dollar. And at that exact moment, a drop hit me on the right shoulder and I looked down to find a spot the same size in almost the exact same position on the front of my right shoulder. The woman said "What are the odds of that?" And I, for no reason other than that it occurred to me and I have no self-control, said "My name is Inigo Montoya... You killed my father... Prepare to Die."

I have three comments to make here, in increasing order of importance:

1) Sometimes, I crack myself up.

2) It turns out that not everybody has seen that movie.

3) Some jokes work and some don't. It is hard to imagine a joke working less than when you are 117 feet underground, in the dark, surrounded by 25 strangers, and it includes the words "prepare to die."

Oops.

Office to office conversations sometimes go in a direction they probably shouldn't...

2005-08-15T16:03:54Z

Cheryl: What's capitation?
Brian: It's when they put your head back on.
Cheryl: What??
Brian: Well, if decapitation is when they cut your head off, I think it's fairly obvious.
Cheryl: I don't think that's right. Besides, this is a government publication. Logic doesn't apply.
Brian: Then look it up instead of asking me. I only do logic.
(*pause*)
Cheryl: a direct uniform tax imposed on each head or person
Brian: Well, there you go. At least it's vaguely head-related.
Cheryl: Yes, there is some head involved.
Brian: I know I'd pay my taxes quicker.
Cheryl: What?
(*pause*)
Cheryl: Brian! That is not what I meant!
Brian: Hey, as long as you're looking stuff up, have you read page 34 of the employee manual recently?
Cheryl: I did not mean that! I am not sexually harassing you! I take it back!
Brian: Oh yeah, I seem to remember something in the rule about how it doesn't count if you take it back.
Cheryl: Shut up!

I think it was about at that point that we decided we should probably stop yelling that conversation from one side of the hallway to the other. :)

It's a good thing I keep my passport here at work, because it's going to be a fun afternoon...

2005-08-12T17:44:17Z

One of the managers from our Iowa office is in town visiting, so we all went out to lunch and ended up trying this new Italian place around the block. It was quite good, though it was a little garlic-y (for lunch, anyway). So on the way out, I grabbed a mint out of the basket and tried to avoid breathing during the ride back to work.

When I got back into my office I popped it into my mouth, and it was about half gone before I looked at the wrapper and realized it was a Mentos. This is my first Mentos experience ever, and I can't believe I wasted half of it in ignorance. I probably only have about two minutes left to pick up a strange girl or sneak backstage at a concert or something. Gotta go, wish me luck!